The Cracks in my Broken Heart
by Alltheabove
Summary: You'll never fully understand how much it hurt to have you break my heart. And not only did you manage to break it once you managed to break it loads of times.


**The Cracks in my Broken Heart**

**OneShot**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

I used to love you. You were everything I ever needed and the only thing I'd ever want. I never thought in a million years that we would ever let go of the love that we had--let alone have you ruin it.

You'll never fully understand how much it hurt to have you break my heart. And not only did you manage to break it once you managed to break it loads of times.

The first time was when you broke up with me, obviously. But the part that hurt the most was how you did it. Seriously, what person in their right mind breaks up with a girl through a text. But, see, then it gets worse. You didn't even have the guts to send it to my phone. Instead you sent it to my best friend and allowed her to tell me the oh so grand news.

The second time happened the night you broke up with me. It was a ballgame night and that's the biggest thing to attend in our small little town. That night I was supposed to feel great because I was performing the cheerleading routine that I'd worked my butt of making. Already I was feeling bad about the break up but then, I had the pleasure of watching you flirt it up with a girl in the bleachers. Needless to say, that night wasn't that great for me.

The third time was when you really did move on--two days after we broke up. With the girl you were flirting with in the bleachers. Did I ever mention to you that I and that girl used to be friends? Because, we were. So here you are Mr. Hot Shot moving on with this girl, and I'm still stuck holding on.

The fourth time was when you started flirting with me again. I must admit, that part made me feel kind of good. But then it broke my heart, because I knew I still wasn't that girl.

The fifth time was when you told me that you still loved me and that you'd break up with your girlfriend for me, to just say the word. I told you that I wasn't going to be the girl that broke you guys up, instead of saying that you didn't care about her or that you didn't care who broke you guys up, that our just wanted to be with me. You said I was a really good person. And that's it. You continued dating her and flirting with me.

The sixth time was when you quit talking to me for a week. I was on vacation--yet another time that I was supposed to be enjoying myself. But instead I was miserable because I hadn't talked to you in so long. Come to find out it was because your girlfriend deleted my number from your phone. But it still broke my heart.

The seventh time was when summer was over and we were back in school. You'd just called me the night before school started and acted as if we were best friends. But as soon as I saw you at school and tried to talk to you, you pushed me away and went off to talk to your girlfriend. So, in reply I didn't answer your phone calls, or your messages. That is, until you started begging.

The eighth time was after you broke up with her for me, or so I thought. You told me you all were over and called every night. I finally thought that we were going to be able to kindle our relationship. That was, until I looked on her MySpace and saw that she was in love with you and SO glad that you all had gotten back together and fixed all your problems. That night I confronted you and you broke up with her for real, but you'd already lost my trust. You said you'd gain it back. You begged me for yet another chance; I said you have to prove you were worth another shot. You said there wouldn't be any other people in the world than us; you'd never talk to her again.

The ninth time you broke my heart was when my best friend, you know the girl you sent the text to that first broke my heart, called me up and informed me that you and your ex were caught in the girls locker room getting ready to "get it on". The worst part about it though was when you called me minutes later and told me you'd been at the ball field all day. At the end of our little conversation you had the nerve to ask if you could call me back that night. I had to say a word that tore me into pieces, _no_.

The tenth time you broke my heart was when you got back together with that girl the very next day. I guess you love her more than you'll ever love me.

The eleventh time you broke my heart was when you continuously let her talk about me behind my back, calling me bad names that I sure didn't deserve, and walking by me giving me that evil grin of hers. You let her hurt me, not once trying to stop it. And that makes you just as bad as her.

The twelfth time was when I finally realized that you had broken your ultimate promise to me. You promised you'd always be my friend, no matter what. You promised you'd always be there for me, no matter what. You broke that promise and that completely tore my heart into pieces.

I realize that I gave you entirely too many chances and I was a fool for that. And I realize that I'll probably never get you back, in any way. People say I deserve better. I don't think they realize just how amazing you are. Even though you broke my heart twelve times...

I still love you.

**A/n: I wrote this last night mainly because I was thinking back on the past, which is something I'm trying to do less of. This oneshot is VERY close to my heart, everything wrote here consists of real events. So, it means a lot to me.**

**And really, writing this was just a way to make me feel better, and it did. I'm just posting it in case you all would like to read it, :)**


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